i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
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seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
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just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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