The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
