actually, I'm a sock model
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I know her cup size but not her name....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
