Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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