Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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