If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize