It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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