I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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