gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
