why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
