Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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