what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
