can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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