And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You are the jesus of drinking
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
