But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
