I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
