Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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