Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
True strength comes from lack of pants
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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