he puts the penis in happiness.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize