awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
