maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
