I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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