I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
