Don't make out with my wife yet
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
