Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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