why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
