Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
