how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize