"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
