I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
