do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
