Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You were trust falling into bushes
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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