I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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