How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
my poor anus
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
