My brain says no but my pants say off.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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