I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
