Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my shit smells like andre
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
