Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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