dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
