I accidentally had phone sex last night
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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