it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
