Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
