Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
