I want to stick my p in your. b.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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