Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize