Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
