It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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