a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
