i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
