I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
