i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
