I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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