the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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