The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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