Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize