You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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