in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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