is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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