bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
did you just send me my own nude
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
