Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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