We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
