im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
