I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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